If you remember from previous blogs, "Whispers" won the national competition and Rupert and Neti were on their way in the world. Recall, too, that I was experiencing a real disconnection from the fuss that followed caused by reasons I've mentioned earlier, but also from a self-enforced humility, I suspect for fear of appearing to be too 'cocky', 'up myself' or any other of the Australian colloquialisms that dictate that personal achievement is not to be celebrated. Such a shame in such a talented country, but I'm not immune. Remember, as well, that the competition win flamed the glowing splint of my inner restlessness. I wanted to 'jump ship' from my happy employment of 25 years, but I was scared. Scared of what you might ask. Scared of not being able to reinvent myself, scared of sacrificing relative financial stability gained after the struggle of my early years (see earlier blog) and scared that I just didn't' have the talent, energy, or ability to do it. Making a decision for my own sake doesn't come easily as I've mentioned before. Coinciding with the competition win were other factors that gave the process of leaving work more momentum. Family concerns were demanding that I direct more attention to them and I was finding it more and more difficult to manage full-time work, study and my need to write and 'follow my heart'. (Yes, I know it's a cliche). So what was my heart saying? I'll tell you about it in the next blog. 

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AuthorAmanda Apthorpe